Friday, December 31, 2010

Decisions Have Been Made

In the whirlwind of the excitement of deciding to adopt, it is tempered by all the decisions that have to be made. What country? What age? What gender? Disabilities or no disabilities? Siblings?

My husband and I have decided the country from which to adopt. Apparently, I am not allowed to mention the country in a blog and this makes me want to play hangman, pictionary or, my all time favorite, charades. But I am depending on your sharp minds to eventually draw clues to the general area of the world. Here's one hint: They will be the yummy chocolate chips in our sugar cookie of a family.

We chose the country for several reasons. One, this country does not restrict adoptions to only smaller families. Larger families are accepted. Two, the main reason why these children have no family is not mainly due to lack of love or abuses but to death from AIDS and poverty. It is obvious that their culture, for the most part, values children and family as much as it has the ability to. There is a respect for life that is eerily absent in many other countries. There is a high likelihood that most of these children have tasted and known what it is to be loved. They know what it feels like and most likely can do it again if given the opportunity. I will be forthright and say that I am afraid to adopt a child that lacks the ability to connect or bond and I believe that the country we have chosen lessens the chance of that happening. It is not a guarantee....but it's the best option. When we adopt, I want to capture that child's or children's' hearts.....not be terminally shut out.

As far as age, gender and disabilities, we have made these decisions as well. We are open to siblings from the ages of three to eight. The gender option is open and we will wait on the Lord on this one. We will wait to see what children are available before we choose a gender. The biggest decision has been about disabilities. We have felt that the Lord wants to use us to reach out to HIV+ children. I will write about this in another post as I feel this needs to be talked about a little more.....ok, a lot more. I have found this to be a very loaded topic. I have also found that the ignorance about this issue is far more dangerous than the disease itself. Stigma can ruin more lives than HIV can.

Agencies. Because we want to adopt from the world of HIV+ children, after much research, we have decided that Adoption Advocates International (AAI) would best suit our needs. AAI has a very extensive HIV+ program and I have heard from others who have adopted through them, that they are incredibly ethical. Because AAI is located in Washington state and we are located in NC, we have had to choose a third party adoption agency to do our home study.

Pray for us! Our first home study visit will be in less than four days and the second will be three days after that. And our third and last visit will be several days after our second. We have paid to have our home study expedited.......well, because I stink at waiting and that's the honest truth. Most home studies take 6-10 weeks to complete.

I know this may all sound so boring and tedious, but such is the road that puts new little squirmy, wiggly lives around our dinner table. As I waltz around doing these necessary steps to adoption, I put on my rose colored glasses and dream. This is all I have right now as I have nothing faces, no voices or laughs I can yet identify. Much like a pregnant mother wondering what their baby will be gender wise and who they will look and be like. You know, I don't even know what their names will feel like rolling off my tongue. I don't yet know what the contours of their bodies and emotions will feel like when I wrap my arms around them to comfort them. But even without this knowledge, I pray for them just the same. I have love and commitment reserved for them to take when the time arrives for them to come home.

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