Getting Closer

** Just a side note....I have tried six different times, in the past four days, to sit my rear down to write this post. At this point, I am just chuckling because little Sarah may just be walking before I actually complete this entry. There is nothing like sitting down at the computer, mopping the floor, breastfeeding or talking on the phone that makes kids "need" their parents more. It is truly uncanny.



Well, today marks the fourth week since little Sarah arrived. I can't believe it. It's all going so quick....it always does. Something odd happens to time when a child moves over from one side of the cervix to the other. One side makes time come to an agonizing crawl due to the wait of welcoming new life while the other side makes time fly at mach speeds. It's strange how a change of geographical location can affect time like this.

I admit to not fully enjoying the first several weeks postpartum. It has nothing to do with my little sweet one and more to do with just adjusting emotionally to the stabilizing hormones, lack of sleep and having a body that does not want to fit into any clothing. It's laughing at me and I am not laughing back. My belly resembles the skin of a Sharpei puppy minus the cuteness. It's my vanity kicking butt and taking names.....it needs to chill a little, I know. My ability to keep a schedule is non-existent. Our week long spring break is now in its fourth week with no end in sight. As with my other postpartum recoveries, I start to get my mojo back at around six weeks......so there is still hope!

Sarah is doing amazingly well. She sleeps well and is gaining weight at a tremendous rate. She started out at 8lbs and is now well over 11lbs. Her life is mostly spent in the loving arms of all of our family that has fallen deeply and hopelessly in love with her. The belief that children are "overlooked" and "neglected" due to being in a large family is a downright lie. Our younger children are touched, hugged and played with more than I could ever do on my own when I had two or three children. The large family economy of how this works is counter-intuitive but inarguable.

I call Sarah my "Gun Lap" baby. All of you who have run the longer distances in track, know that the last lap is marked by the sound of a blank gun shot. This is to let the spectators know to watch carefully as the runners give one last ditch effort to take control of the race. It is also to let the runners know that it's time to 'sell the farm'. This is the only lap where the runners give it their all to run the best possible race in the hopes of winning. It can be a game changer. Folks, with my nearing the age of forty four years old, I pretty much know that this is the gun lap of my child bearing years. And as a result, I linger at each breast feeding a little longer, I smell the aroma of her newness and tattoo it onto my memory, and I resist feeling agitated at her midnight cry as I choose to revel in the blessing of the lungs of a healthy child. I walk around in a state of constant awe that the Lord has allowed me to be the mother of the children He has given me....especially when one child was what we had initially agreed upon.....just one and now almost 12. You can't tell me that the Lord does not do miracles with issues of the heart. This is so much more than I ever asked for.

I am in an all out sprint in this 'gun lap' of the child bearing season. Running a race knowing it's the last lap changes perspective. It's a gift that has changed me.

Here are some pics:

Here is Sarah showing us "the claw". Our friend Anthony would be proud of her.

Here is yet another picture of Sarah being bright eyed and bushy tailed.

On the adoption front, we are nearing the last final weeks without our boys. We are expecting them to be home with us by the end of April....just a couple of weeks away! In some respects, I still feel pregnant as I expect these two boys to take up residence and to claim their spot in our family. When they walk off that plane, it will be the first time I see them face to face. It will be the first time I get to wrap my arms around them. It's like watching them being born into our family except without all the physical pain. What a celebration! I can't believe this is all actually going to happen! I stand in utter amazement as this is more than I ever dreamed of.

Pinch me.

Here are some of recent pictures of the boys. They are so dang handsome...... Here is Ephrem.

Here is Anteneh, the younger one....







Ok, since my butt is plastered in front of this computer, the troops have now predictably decided they need me "right now". If you could see me right now, I have a six year old velcro'd in a hug around my arm, a new born crying for sustenance, a 7 year old blowing a newly found whistle (one that I purposely lost), an edible and adorable 3 year old singing his version of "tingle, tingle leo staaaaa" and two teenage girls needing to have deep conversations. So needed, so blessed and so done with this post!!!!