The Other Shoe.....

.......When is it going to fall?
Many people have been so curious about how things are going in our household with our new sons.  To look in their eyes, I can tell they are not sure what answer I am going to pop up with.  Well here is my answer:


It is going so well, it scares me.


After months and months of reading books on adoption and all the pitfalls of taking in older children, I was ready for the worst.  I still am.  I am on my guard.....but I feel I am losing my grasp on this caution as I fall hopelessly in love with these boys.


I wince as I remember not in the too distant past (only a little over two weeks ago), how the youngest, Anteneh, hid behind his brother at the airport.  I remember his fear and my immediate primal desire to want to comfort him and tell him I was all his.  This little boy was the last to warm up to me.  In fact, his smiles had to be earned....and now I can't stop him. 


I will never forget having to hold him in my lap to restrain him for blood work.  It was almost more than I could handle.  Anteneh wept bitterly, this poor child who had traveled half way around the world to be in a family and a land that confused him.  Holding him, I wept.  No words could capture the ache I felt for this boy, the desperation of wanting him to feel safe in my arms, the sorrow I felt for his past.  It all came crashing down on me in that lab chair.  Not once have I ever wept when any of my other children received shots or had blood drawn.  But this particular instance did me in.  I was undone.


He is now a Tasmanian devil that crawls under our bed and grabs our feet to our horror and surprise.  This is the little guy that when given a cup to fill at the gas station, he fills it with every flavor of soda and every flavor of icee.  Yes, all in one cup.   This is a child that swallows life whole....without chewing.  He loves touch.  He loves to say the word "Mom."  He follows me smiling at times for unknown reasons and leaves after I kiss and hug him.  His hugs get tighter and tighter every night.


I am in love.


Ephrem is the eldest and is just gorgeous.  He is intelligent and much more serious that his youngest brother.  He is close to 11 years old and. like Anteneh, has blended so well with our boys that are around his age.  He is picking up English at an alarming rate and I am in awe of him.  Although he is quite a bit more laid back than his younger brother, he is not afraid to try anything new.  He seems fearless like his brother.  Ephrem is also so good to let us know the Amharic equivalent is to many words.  He is such a gentle child that has taken awhile to loosen up, but tonight, he let out a rip roaring laugh that filled our whole family with absolute delight.

They are both crazy-good at soccer, so much so that it seems their feet are as nimble as their hands.  It's beautiful and entertaining to watch.


Have I said that I am in love with these boys yet?


We have started them on chores by having them shadow several different children so they can learn the different jobs in our home.  They seem to relish the chance to help as I believe it makes them feel part of the family. 


Here are some pictures of our newest additions, Ephrem and Anteneh:




Their 1,000 watt smiles

Ephrem walked around the house with this box on his head as if were the most normal thing in the world.  His dry humor has won me over.

How can you NOT fall for a face like this??????

Anteneh.......trying to hide and failing miserably.

The computer is Ephrem's lost love.  He LOVES the game canvas rider and is not too crazy about the 30 minute limit we have on computer time.!

My handsome Ephrem.

Ephrem giving Timothy some brotherly love.

 

Doing chores as a team.

Ephrem showing his prowess at trash emptying.

Anteneh helping Luke with the dishes.

So this is our life with our new African sons Anteneh and Ephrem.  I have no complaints and to put it bluntly, I am amazed at how well things seem to be going.  I am ready for the hard times to come. The honeymoon will wear off and the backlash of culture shock and grief in some form must ensue.  But for now, I will enjoy without shame the beauty and innocence of it all.

24 Hours

Ephrem and Anteneh have officially been with us for over 24 hours.  It is hard to explain, but with the language barrier, I feel like I am having to relate to them through plate glass.  I can see them but I can't get to them via my words......and words are my specialty.  So I will wait patiently for the plate glass to recede as their language develops.  What a sweet gift this will be for the both of us.  And as I wait, I will desperately find other ways to get to them.  There is so much I want right now.  There is no such thing as instant intimacy in a situation like this.  It is earned through time, exposure and consistency.  And even then, there is no guarantee....just more opportunity.


Our first day together started with Anteneh accidentally locking himself in our bathroom.  The lock is sticky and not easily undone.  Add to that the language barrier and the fact that doorknobs seem to be a mystery to them, you have.........a little boy locked in the bathroom.  I know he heard all the voices on the other side, so I know he was aware we were fighting for his freedom.  He was a cool little doobie through the whole event and seems none worse for the wear.


My 9 year old son was successful in getting a gut wrenching laugh from both new brothers by burping.  One could tell through their laughter that burping was about as bad as farting in church......but funny nonetheless to a couple of real boys.  I thought I'd join in on the fun, so I belched.  I might as well have pooped in my hand and ate it.  Their looks were derived from pure horror.  Feeling that they had not realized how funny I could be, I looked at Ephrem and said "This one's for you."  And I proceeded to belch a perfectly enunciated version of his name.   .......chirp......chirp......chirp.....   How could a boy resist my charm???   Going for round three, I pointed at Anteneh and said "You're next."   My burping pro-ess could not have been better and yet so under appreciated.  Again, big eyes, no smiles and a look of utter under-amazement.  So, I sadly gave up realizing that my gut ripping sense of humor was not universal.  As I walked away, I could hear my son again erupting with burps and my new boys collapsing with oxygen depriving laughter.  Just wait boys......one day you will see how funny I am....just wait...


They also both had their first showers tonight.  Interesting.  Before letting them loose, I thoroughly went through how to turn on and off the shower and what soap to use on hair and body.  When I felt confident they knew what to do, I left Ephrem to shower.  On the other side of the bathroom door I could hear the shower go on....off.......on.......off.....on...and so on.  This went on for the better half of 20 minutes.  To this moment, I have no idea what that poor boy was doing.  I was too afraid to go in there and shame him to death with him being buck naked.  I am imagining that he was either playing with it or it had gotten to a temperature he could not tolerate for long periods of time.....or both.  Oh well, he was at least under some water to get that two day boystink off.


Most of today was spent jumping on the trampoline and playing soccer.  All the kids are spent but happily tired.  It was a really good day and I am feeling more confident than yesterday driving away from the airport with two little scared and overwhelmed boys.  I still can't believe they are here.  I rub my eyes and pinch myself to make sure this is all actually happening.  They are actually my sons.  Unbelievable!!


Here are some pictures of today:




              Ephrem had really attached himself to Timothy our 10 yr. old.

The kids playing hard at soccer.....at which they were consistently and brutally creamed by their new brothers.

Anteneh in the van before going to the pediatrician.  Sorry little dude, you wouldn't be smiling if you knew you were going to get poked.   Ignorance is bliss.

                           Timothy and Ephrem.......the new "dynamic duo"

Taking a rest between beatings.

We just can't keep our hands off of him, he's just so dang cute!!

Trying to prevent Anteneh making his millionth goal of the day.

My sweet, sweet Ephrem

The Homecoming

We left church this morning allowing us enough time to catch a bite and head on to the airport......so I thought.  What I did not account for was the adoption virus that had invaded my brain making me an absolute moron in the simplest of moments.  I left our church only to get promptly lost in an area that I should have known like the back of my hand.  We arrived late to lunch, ate quickly and went on our merry way to the airport.  We calculated that we would get their at least a half hour before their arrival.  


Then came the call.


A good friend of mine, who had already arrived at the airport, called to inform us that our boys' flight was 20 MINUTES EARLY!  This was not good.   And from the looks of it, it was probable that we would not make it in time to welcome our boys after having to park, debark and walk to the terminal.  I fell apart and cried while speeding through traffic.  This couldn't be happening.  We just couldn't miss this....we just couldn't.  In a virtual panic attack, I called my sweet friend Nikki, who was tailing me in traffic.  It was decided that we would park at the arrival deck, hop out of our van and have members of Nikki's family park our van.  Their gesture was quick thinking and allowed us to make it to the gate with time to spare.  I will always be grateful for this.


There were MANY friends there with signs, balloons, cameras and 100 watt smiles.  The support was overwhelming.  Our poor sweet boys were absolutely shell-shocked.  They have no idea what they have walked into.


Below are just a few pics that were taken.  My extreme fatigue is preventing from posting more but I promise I will post more soon with updates.

It Was The Night Before......

It was the night before the landing
counting the minutes and the hours
praying for new brothers walking
from their life to ours


We've talked of the change
We've meandered over our cares
To know what it means
To give our lives for theirs


Pain is everywhere, the poverty never ending
But God has blessed us so much
We had to do something

So when I look in their eyes
I see not one guarantee
Of a rose colored ending
Where we are all "home free"

I sense bodies that need hugging 
I see healing that needs to begin
I will try to ask nothing in return
Just my Father's "Amen"


I know this is all
Easier said and harder shown
If their parents were living
I would tell them their sons have a home


But what I suspect will happen
And it will have to be given
From the greatest of gift givers
From our Father in Heaven


And when His gift is opened
It will be humbly realized
That our boys were the ones
Who rescued us and opened our eyes


-Dedicated to Ephrem and Anteneh

What Do These Numbers Mean?

6/3                        1:24 pm                   #3757






If you don't have the slightest of inklings, then I am happy to tell you that on Sunday, June 3rd at 1:24pm, our sweet boys Ephrem and Anteneh will be arriving on United flight #3757 at the Raleigh/Durham Airport. 


Please come help us welcome our sweet boys home into our family!  We would love to see you there at the airport.  This day is as exciting as my wedding day and the days my sweet babies were born.  

This life is crazy good.   Woo Hoooo!!!!!

News Flash!!!!!

Our case cleared embassy this morning!!!   The aunt arrived and we have moved on to the next step which is to get a visa appointment.  This will not pose an issue at all.  As I have stated before, we are having our boys escorted to the US.  The agency rep from our adoption agency will be the escort.  According to her, she will not be able to leave Ethiopia with our boys until May 31.  This will put their arrival date somewhere between June 1st and June 2nd.  I was actually hoping that they would come earlier, but honestly, I am ecstatic that they will be coming in the next 10 days.


I can't wait to see them for the very first time and my husband can not wait to see them again.  Our children have made years and years of plans with their new brothers  It will be like watching the birth of our children....except this time I won't be naked and in sheet gripping pain.  I am sure you are all breathing a sigh of relief on this one.....this scene would not bode well in an airport and would land most witnesses in therapy and me in the slammer.


As soon as I know the dates of their arrival, I will let you know.  And to all my local friends, it would bring joy to my heart to see you at the airport as we wait for our boys.  I really want them to see how anticipated and wanted they are.  It would mean a lot to our family as well.  All of you have been so encouraging with support financially and through your friendship and prayers.  This is going to be an amazing day for our whole family!


I think I now officially need a pair of Depends.

Today Is The Day

 

Today is the day that needs to be bathed in prayer.   Today is the day my boys' aunt should have arrived at the embassy for her interview.  Today is the day that we will find out if our boys will be physically absorbed by our family within the next week.  

Today...........


Pretty soon all the todays will be yesterdays that we will gaze back upon and see the perfect timing of God's hand in all of this.  The waiting will always have the emotional photo in my mind of longing and impatience.  I will put this in their scrapbook too.  And I will look back, and I pray they will look back, and see the beauty and perfection of it all. 

Today is the day............